Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Seeking Medical Advice

Okay, this might sound a little gross, but I had a question concerning ingrown hairs. Yesterday, I looked in the mirror and saw a bump on my lower jaw area that was swelling up. Under the swelling I could see something dark and long, like a hair.

I was relatively pretty clean shaven, no growth over say a millimeter. In true Guy fashion, I gave the little nodule a little squeeze and out popped a tiny millimeterish long facial hair. I gave it a little tug to make sure that my job was done in that crater-filled area, and to my amazement, out popped over 4 more centimeters of the same shy little beard hair. The hair was still rooted so it didn't come "off" of my face, but it came "out" of my face. I looked like a cartoon character with one chin hair sticking out of my mug. I showed Pae, of course, and then I gave it a good yank and it popped out.

I'm guessing that that little fella had been growing beneath the skin for several months as my facial hair takes a good while to even grow to the 2-3 millimeter length. This sucker was over 4 centimeters. It doesn't sound like much, only about an inch and three quarters, but it was IN MY FACE!

I do have a pretty non-spectacular face. Brad, Hugh, your super stud status is safe. Pocked with squeeze scars from not only my teens but also my 30's my face is beginning to resemble the far side of the moon. I'm horrible about playing with stuff on my face. I was recently called a monster, and had my face compared unfavorably to a lizard, a dog, and an animal. And this is before the little Tarzan vine rooted in my jaw meat!

I wash my face, I sweat a lot due to lots of sun on my face and stuffy non-air conditioned public buses. I shave once a week using an electric razor and a blade. I often dry shave, but recently started using shaving cream. I change bed linens weekly. I usually get ingrown hairs on my lower jaw and sometimes on my cheeks, but they grow close to the surface and I can "get them" before they turn into dental floss. Why do many of my facial hairs have trouble getting out of my face? I'd estimate that between shaves anywhere between 10 and 20 hairs will have to be "helped" past the surface. Any ideas?

Thanks,
Monster-lizard-dog-animal-faced man

3 comments:

Rachel said...

I use proactiv for the acne. But I don't have much experience with the facial hair. But I would recommend a good facial scrub that exfoliates the skin...then again, that might irritate the skin enough to cause a breakout, but only temporarily.

Beccarigg said...

Okay, so I was laughing so hard reading this that Taber came in and was like, "what is so funny?" I tried to explain it but I guess you have to be an Uda. : ) Seriously though, why do we all pick our faces like that? I know I should leave it alone but I can't stop. Your description of the "shy little beard hair" was hilarious. Wish I had some advice for you but don't have too much experience with the facial hair.

Anonymous said...

Chris,

Sorry, I had a hugh laugh at your expense. You are truly a gifted story teller. In the (olden) days they used to put a hot damp towel on your face before they shaved you in barbar shops. I wonder if your hair problem was the reason? I don't know how long you keep it on.

Love,
from Grandma Pratt

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